Saturday, February 21, 2009

quiet week

Well it was a very unusual week for me
no doctors appointments
just basic running around
getting things done
Was a nice and needed break

it's still snowing here
Just when it all melts
just when my hope
of warmth starts to glimmer
Bam!!
another snow storm
I am so ready for winter to come to an end
miss taking my daily walks
that help clear my head
miss wearing just one layer of clothes
miss walking gracie around the park
it's just been to cold most days
but when it's a nice day we walk
maybe todays snow
will be the end ..I can hope lol

my dreams have been quite active this past week
I dreamed I had a visit from an old friend
someone whom while I call him friend
we are not friends
but we once where
after all these years
there is still a connection
least for me anyway
in reality I feel a strong sense of this person sometimes
and if I look around usually I see him or something of his
within a few seconds
I can say the dreams with him
come and go
sometimes we just visit and really talk
other times I am looking for him
wishing to explain myself
mostly these days it's just talking
I don't wake up feeling frustrated as I once did
now I just wake up with a sense of peace
and a twinge of guilt
I used to question why I dream about him
but now I just accept that I do
and to me it just shows how our connection
was real ..once upon a time
many times the phases of the dreams
have been validated when I heard news about him and his life
other times I believe it's my need for forgiveness
to release that only regret ..
that I have not been able too release on my own or through circumstances
Maybe in reality I will never be able to fix this regret
but in my dreams it seems I am beginning to heal the old wounds
so I don't question ..why anymore
just accept what is


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