Friday, March 20, 2009

It's been quite a week...

Monday I took Grandma D to have skin cancer removed
from her hip and top of her foot
I couldn't go in with her so I walked around the complex
they had lovely art work all through out
and I forgot my camera (damn!)
I took a stroll out side
soaking up the sun and warmth
it was such a nice spring day..
Grandma d's surgery took a few hours
I started to worry
when they finally came out and got me
letting me go back to help her dress
and hear the doctors instructions for her care.

Grandma d at this point has now been wearing a heart monitor
that her cardio doctor ordered the week prior
at my strong suggestion she see a cardiologist
it was clear to me her family practice doctor
was not taking these spells seriously
or she was just out of her league
So late last week we saw my dad's Cardio doctor
and he wanted to monitor her heart for a month
she agreed but didn't like it one bit.
But he took her seriously and wanted to find out whats wrong
and I knew if anyone would find it a problem
it would be him

Well Monday after the doctor left the room
Grandma d had one of her "spells"
while sitting waiting for her scripts
after making sure she was safe from falling forward
I clicked on the hand held part of the heart monitor
it alerts the cardio doctor that she had a spell
and they are able to read what is going on with her heart
during these spells
after resting for a few
I asked for a wheel chair to take grams to the car
as I said before these spells take everything out of her
and I didn't want her to push herself anymore
it was a long day for her
with the cancer surgery and all
On the way home her cell phone rang
saying the cardio doctor called
and wants to see her as soon as possible
by this point we are already back in Richmond
and it was close to 5 o'clock
to late to go back now
we had to go back to the cancer doctor
the following day (Tuesday) to be re-checked
so we would plan to go to both doctors the next day
I ran to the drug store ..got grams scripts
dropped them off and k made a comment about
me always being around when grams had her spells
she laughed it off as if it was a joke
but was not funny to me at all
a little while after she apologized for all the time
I been needing to take grams here and there..
that she felt bad
I looked at her and said she should and laughed
wondered how she liked rude comments followed by a laugh
and finally made it home that night after 8 pm

Tuesday morning I had to go to the doctors myself
I needed a refill on my thyroid meds
after a blood test
they found my levels out of normal ranges again
they upped my medication
I was a bit shocked to hear my ranges out of wack again
Thinking about the last couple days
I did have other symptoms of my thyroid levels being off
but I excused them away with
being tired from being so busy lately
all the stress and shit
but this is why the tests every 3 months
to make sure I stay in good lab ranges for me
and this is not at all the range I need to be in
I been dealing with thyroid disease since I was 19.

after my appointment..
I went and picked up Grandma D
we stopped and had a light lunch
then off to the cardio doctors first
His nurse ran his normal tests (ekg,bp,ect)
and then he came in with the results he received with the monitor
Grandma d was shaken by what he had to say
the results basically say her heart is stopping
and she needs a pace maker
we asked a lot of questions
and grams asked to go home and talk to her family about it
he agreed but warned her that if she had another spell
she was to go directly to the ER
she agreed
After we talked on our way to the cancer doctors office
I knew she was scared
and tried to assure her that it would be okay
But she was stressed and anxiety filled by the time we got
to the other doctors appointment
I brought her in with the wheel chair again
before getting into the building
she had another moment of weakness
she didn't pass out
she was just weak
we got done with the re-check
her incisions where looking good
and her stitches where holding
after we drove home
she called her daughters
and they all felt good about the pacemaker
happy that we finally have an answer
to what is wrong
after I got her settled and she laid down for a nap
K her daughter was with her
I left and went to the grocery store picked up some
things I needed at home
Later that night I had a weird feeling (vibe)
and ran a piece of pie over to her as an excuse to check on her
she was sleepy but said she was fine ..
watching the hockey game ..
I went home
but worried most the night.

Wednesday I had some running around to do in the morning
but hurried threw it and arrived at grandma d's
I need to change her bandages
clean the incisions and put on the medication
she didn't look like she was feeling well to me
but wouldn't admit it.
after changing the bandages
we went and sat in the living room
the phone rang
it was the cardio doctor
instructing grams to go to the ER
that her doctor will be waiting for her
We called K and she drove to grams
while I packed up a bag for grandma (just in case)
I told her
But I knew she needed it
also packing up her dogs leash and food to take the dog over to K's
K drove grandma d to the ER
and I met them there after I dropped the dog off
K's husband was home and for the second time
I was asked what I am doing to grandma d
that she has these spells when I am around.
K said it a few days before
They where joking
but it ticked me off
I responded that the reason it happens when I am around
is because I am always around her
I really can't believe they both said the same thing
it's as if it was a topic of a conversation between them
had to be ..after all they both said the exact same thing!

I had already said something about K saying it to grams
earlier that day
so by the time I reached the hospital K knew it had upset me
she apologized and I said oh it's ok
even though it was not
in the ER in front of grandma d is not the place
to even discuss this now
I sat with grandma d and K till a room was available
that evening around 10 pm
we got to the room
and the nurse asked is grandma d needed help walking
she said no
K asked her if she wanted her help
she said no
then turned around and asked me to help her
K gave me a look
I just didn't look at her and helped gram
to the bathroom then back into bed
while grams was in the bathroom
I asked what's the look for K
she said oh she was just tired
I didn't believe her
I think grams wanting my help
hurt her feelings
but she has to remember
this is what I do
I worked in nursing homes
I took care of both my grandparents
my dad
she looks at me as a nurse
someone skilled it help her
maybe I make her feel comforted
understood
I know I don't feed into her anxiety the way some do
anyway we made sure she was comfortable
and we both left
she thanked me as we left the hospital
no hug
no real connection
just a thanks kid and off we went.


The next morning grams would get a pace maker (Thursday)
the tests where all done
they prepared for surgery
I had to take my dad to the doctors
so I knew I couldn't be there
but K said she would call after it was done and update me
around 7:30 am she called said they just took grams down
and she would call me back around noon with an update
at 9 am the phone rang
it was my mom and we had changed dad's appointment
till the following week
it was just a battery check for his pacemaker
it could wait..he just had it tested a few months back
so I would be home after all
I wanted to go the the hospital
but after the night before I decided I best just stay home
and wait for k to call with an update
I slept most of the morning on and off watching tv
didn't have the energy to write or be on pc even
noon came and went and still no word
around 3 o'clock I was worried
but had to run to the grocery store for my mom and dad
did their shopping
dropped it off and D fixed a hole in the fence
so the dog can't escaped the yard
Then came home
and expecting to see a message on my machine
nothing from K
it was 5 pm and still no word
I had D call her
she insisted she had called
I said to D no she didn't
I have caller Id
then she changed the story said she called so many people
she must have forgot to call me
but that grams was alright
made it threw surgery very well
and expected to be released sometime Friday
she would be staying with K and her husband for the next week
I was glad she was ok
but a bit peeved about forgetting to call me
I mean I sat there all night with her
not her other sisters
not her husband
me being as helpful as I could
and I am the only one not called
makes no sense to me
I don't care how much is on her plate
I have a lot on mine too
but I am still there for them
but again I kept my mouth shut
I am helping for grandma d
I am helping because it's D's grandmother
and he is there when my family needs something from him
maybe I should say something
but it will only cause negative shit that I don't need in my life
so I vent here to myself and anyone who comes around to read it

Friday
Grandma D will be released later on tonight
I have not heard anything yet this morning
I really don't expect too
not unless I call k
I am spending the day pretty much at home
unless something comes up
it's nice to be home
being able to catch up on my blog
the sun is shinning but it's on the chilly side
I thought about taking a drive later today or tomorrow
taking my camera along just in case
something I see inspires me to snap a picture
maybe tomorrow ..today I am gona hang out in my pj pants
and catch up on reading the blogs I follow
reconnect with my online friends
maybe play a game online
nothing that requires me to brush my hair
or be dressed in anything other then my pjs
nothing that requires me to do a hole lot
sounds like a great day to me ..
the weekend is here!!!

6 comments:

O.T. said...

Do you have Hashimoto's thyroidiits?

Lorri said...

O.T I do ..I had what they call graves disease ..where I go from hyper to hypo in short periods of time ..I had treatment at 19 radioactive iodine treatment that "killed" my thyroid ..I have to take medication to replace the thyroid hormone the rest of my life.

O.T. said...

Lorri,
Grave’s disease is different from Hashimoto’s; if your T3 level is low but T4 is normal, you may need to check the level of cortisol; [85% of T3 is produced outside of thyroid by conversion from T4].
Best of luck!!

Lorri said...

I take both t3 and t4 medications ..this time my t4 was low my t3 was still in normal ranges..thanks for the advice!

Julie said...

Good morning! Just checking in and getting caught up on my blog reading! Happy Saturday!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Wow--very powerful You are such a nice, caring person. This was wonderful to read. Interesting human dynamics at play.

Your site rocks, Lorri!