Friday, March 6, 2009

reality check

It's been a busy week
running here and there
for both grandma d and my parents
next week looks to be about the same
visited with grandpa ray ..
but he didn't know who I was
he was in a bad mood so our visit didn't last long
I was invited to go with some friends earlier this week
but by the time I got home ..
I was exhausted
I ended up not going
just hanging out at home watched some tv
fell asleep at 8 pm and didn't wake up till 7 am next morning
(I couldn't believe I slept that long)

I tried to explain ..
I was at the doctor's most the day
my friend said well that shouldn't take long what maybe 2 hours?
but it don't work that way
for one older people have their own pace
they don't want to be rushed
and they must be ready to leave for a scheduled appointment
an hour before ..even if it takes 30 minutes to drive there
they believe its best to leave early ..maybe get seen quicker
when will they figure out that it never works that way? lol
and frankly its not worth causing them any unneeded anxiety by leaving on my time
after any procedures they always have side effects
from the anxiety of just ...
seeing the doctor
having a procedure done
usually these test require fasting
and both grandma d and dad are diabetics
so after we have to prepare for that
usually after the appointments are finished
anywhere from 2 to 4 hours after the appointed time
we stop at a nearest known place to eat a quick bite
there always seems to be a extra stop before heading for home
bank,store,what have you
before you know it the day is gone..

I don't think my friends and even my family get it
correction I know some of them don't get it!

now I am not complaining here
while it can be stressful
I love that I can do this for them at this point in my life
I love the relationships I have gained in doing so
I know so much about my mom and dad even grandma d now
that if I had not chosen to do this
I would have never known
and they know me..
understand me
and knowing me they don't rush to judgment
like some do

I heard through my mother this week
that when my brother was told dad was no longer driving
he asked when I became the parent to our parents?
as if I took dad's driving rights away
Dad told me he felt unsafe to drive because of how he feels these days
besides being winter ..
last 6 years dad didn't drive much in the winter
they don't get out to shop much in the winter
it's to rough on them in their health..
did you know dad has driven to town and
felt lost in a town he's lived in 39+ years?
he would know that if he got involved
nobodies stopping him from helping
It's his choice to be clueless
but don't rush to judge me when you don't have a clue
the fact is we have aging parents
who need daily help
specially in the winter months when just going out to grab the mail
is to much to do when its below zero and they both walk with canes
making it a danger for either of them
last time dad took the garbage out he slipped
fell into the ditch
and had to crawl out of the ditch
where cars where passing and Not one stopped
by the time mom knew what had happen
dad was cold and wet and had made it back to the house
ended up being in bed for three days because he was so sore
so taking the garbage is even unsafe
so we do that now too
do you know that mom has fallen many times
and she crawls to the phone to call me to come help her up?
Do you know that dad tried to get onto the roof
so he would fix a leak right before winter
This man who feels unsafe driving a car
is going to go up a ladder to walk on the pitched roof
to fix a leak
lucky enough D stopped over that night
and D fixed the area for dad
Did you know that when dad had the flu a few weeks ago
that he double dosed his insulin one night and went into shock at 1 am
and we had to get him through it
there are so many more moments, examples
that show me our parents need the help
so you can choose to think anyway you want
but I know I am doing the right thing.
as for the child becoming the parents parent ..
I am not alone
there is many people going through the same things
maybe you just need to look around outside your own life
and see reality
and if you choose not to ..well
then keep your comments to yourself

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