Thursday, March 12, 2009

still quitting!

So I am a day behind ..
oh well lol

Spent my day to myself
on Wednesday
finished my laundry
organized my desk
cleaned the bathroom and Kitchen
dusted the living room
but it was hard not to take a "smoke break"
Sad that a cigarette is like my reward for a clean room
I removed all ash trays from my sight
I had a headache most the day
I guess it will go away in a few days
Connected with some friends online and off
caught up on all the blogs I read
in the afternoon I watched some TV
and played fetch with Gracie
was a nice day to myself
but I feel kinda snappy
trying to control my bitchiness
hopefully that to shall pass lol
after dinner I broke down and smoked 1 cig
why do I so want one after eating
I tried to fight the urge
I ate some pie D's grandma made for him
after the piece of pie I still didn't feel satisfied
ok I think to myself
you can't fill the "want" with food
it ain't working anyway
so I broke down smoked it
felt stupid after
but I will not give in to "fuck it"
I smoked one cig ..big deal
I didn't smoke 19 others in a day
like I had been
instead of saying fuck it
I am going to give myself some slack
maybe then
quitting will work
we shall see

1 comment:

ModernMom said...

Oh I think that sounds like huge progress! I've watched my sister try to quit countless times. YOU CAN DO IT!!