Tuesday, August 11, 2009

letting go ..

It was rainy weekend
so I tackled grandpa's old room
tubs of things that where my grand mothers
still stored in the closet
I still had her purse just
as she left it
it's taken 3 years to be able to go through it all
and be able to throw things out
other things I donated to salvation army
All the paper work
from several years
I was able to shred and get rid of
the rest of grandpa's things
things he can't use anymore
need anymore
I finally got rid of
it took me most the weekend
but I got it all done
there was a few things
I just couldn't part with
I don't know if I ever will
I kept her robe
and the purple teddy bear
that laid on her lap her final days
the one that I gave her years before
the bible she read from
the one that I read from to her in her final days
along with some of my own past
stored in boxes
I was finally able to let most of it go
in the back of the closet I found a sealed box
I knew what it was
it was part of my past
a part I don't believe I will ever
be ready to let go
I have not looked in the box in years
but I know it's there
just as those memories
are always there
in the back of my mind
the box will remain in the back of the closet
I don't need the items to remember
believe me
I remember
so why do I keep them
I really don't know
I just know
I can't let them go
just like the few things I kept of grams
I just can't let them go
a few times going through
the things
I found myself in tears
it was not easy
to go through all these things
to let go of so many things
but it was time
but the few things
I couldn't part with
it's silly
they are all placed in a closet
one I don't go through very often
why can't I just let them all go
they are just things
I will always hold the memories
I don't need things to revisit the past
I just need close my eyes
but I just can't seem to let go

1 comment:

Vegas Linda Lou said...

It's nice that you have those items of your grandmother's. Little things mean so much.