Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Missing you..friend

a good friend of mine died last month
very suddenly
she was 2 years younger then me
had 5 kids all under the age of 12.
The day she died her husband left her ..
he had given her divorce papers recently and he was really moving out this time...
we where talking about her feelings about her fears through email like we had over 8 years.
I had to go to the store real quick,
while I waited for her to email back ..
sending her a...
"keep the faith"
faerie from some faerie app I use
before grabbing my keys and heading out the door.
When I came back I checked my email ..
I checked her fB page
saw she had been talking to many of her friends ..
many people giving her support and encouragement in what she faced ahead.
Which I was so happy to see ..
I was so worried about her.
The next morning word hit her face book page,
at first I thought it was a mean joke
but soon came to pass and realize she is really gone.
Within an hour of her last FB post she died.
I was in shock and scared ..
scared my friend did something to herself to be quite honest with you.
It's now been a month since she died and no word on what happen really
other then she had a seizure and died at the grocery store.
But I don't know of any history of this ..
dang I knew when she had pms and or a cold
when her and hubby where fighting
I knew when her kids where sick
I knew so much...
there is no way I wouldn't know of some disorder she had.
Her family who posted on her page seemed very shocked,
so it can't be some disorder, it seems to me they would have known she had it...
Her husband changed his fb status a few days before her death to single ...then a few days after her death to widow.
He updated her face book page ..
letting us all know of her passing and funeral arrangements ...
yet she told me he didn't have any of her passwords many times...
it's just very odd.
He is not releasing any further info on what took my friends life.
I was told about the seizure from an aunt of her's ..I emailed.
Many have asked on her fb page
what the autopsy reports are on her death.
The timing of her death is concerning to many of us I am sure.
But he is no longer responding to us...
I know it's very personal information
but we where personable friends for many year's.
A week and half after her death
he thanked all his friends and family for their support
and that he can now move on with his life...

Well I can't ..
every day I see her picture among my friends.
Every where I go, FB, mySp, yahoo, groups
every app we both played there she is ..
I removed her from my crews and yet her avatar pops up
asks me to drop her a note or send her a gift..come tell her a joke...
I don't have the heart to delete her page
Every day when I log in ..
her picture seems to always be one of the top 3 ..
the other night while joking with some friends
I searched God on face book and up come a page
when I get to the page
who's picture in in the top 3 ..
my friend.
I will probably never know what really happen ..
what took my friends life.
If it was a hidden illness or something else.
All I do know is it's hard to lay her to rest
in my heart and mind without knowing ..
without closure

I Miss you friend


Heidi said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Sometimes we may never receive the answers we are looking for. Just ask the Lord for direction to get you through your trying time. God Bless you.


Vegas Linda Lou said...

"Her husband changed his fb status a few days before her death to single ...then a few days after her death to widow."

So poignant, and so sad. Very touching post, Lorri.

AmyK said...

What a tragedy. I am so sorry for her children. Her husband can go suck an egg. So soory for your emptiness.

ModernMom said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. How truly tragic...