Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy ever after?

I have never believed in happy ever after
maybe cause I grew up
with parents who where not very happy together
and sometimes abusive with each other
yet they now have been married 50 years
unless you count those few years they divorced
then remarried lol
My Nana who lived with us
on the other hand had a wonderful marriage
she and my grandfather where true soul mates
she would tell me so
but sadly he died suddenly of a heart attack when I was 3
and I watched her miss him every day
she would talk about him and them all the time
she missed him every day till she died
showing me that Happy does not last forever
one way or another happy always ends
so no I don't believe in happy ever after
what I believe is
that we have many levels of soul connections
there is not just one person
that will complete the picture in our minds of "happiness"
that even the bad relationship we have ..
they have purpose
even those had happy moments
but like all happy moments they end ..
cause nothing ends "happy" does it?
I believe in contentment
loving someone enough
to go through all the bullshit
life throws at them
and sticking it out
not because you have too
but because you just can't let the other go
even though at times they can make you so mad
so crazy just want to kill them lol
and sometimes you think..
Yes!!!... killing them would make me happy lol
I believe that it's sometimes harder to stay together
then break it off
many..many times over the span of a marriage
but when all happiness is gone
it's very hard to let it go ..I know this ..did this ..
You are always hoping and praying happiness returns
even a glimmer of what once was
and when it's gone
it's gone
Personally I don't even want to label
my relationship a marriage
I don't know exactly why but
it's my relationship
yes I am married
I have a piece of paper that says I am
had that piece of paper now almost 13 years
but in a moment of unhappiness
I could burn that piece of paper
and I could leave and not look back
But I can't ...
I would miss him
my heart would hurt..
just to see him
talk to him
kiss him
be with him
laugh with him
fight with him
lean on him
hate him
all those emotions
is to me what "happiness" really is
it's living
it's what matters
not the car we drive
not how much money we make
not the house in which we live
it's the life between us
it's the laughter
and the fights
the bond
the love
the strength
the fight over the remote
that's what happiness is to me
will it last forever?
cause nothing lasts forever
and nothing ever ends Happy

response to: Linda Lou Blog


Barbara aka Layla said...

Wow, what a great post! I think you have a very good view on happiness and love, and you're right, it does not last forever. People always tell me that I'm better off being single than in the "wrong relationship" but I am not sure I agree...what is the "wrong" relationship? All relationships go through highs and lows. None are perfect.

Richard said...

nice blog.

Richard / Germany