Friday, May 7, 2010


Thank you Mom..
for always believing in me
for always understanding my intentions
for always loving me
even when I made it hard at times ..

Now I understand.. as an adult
that Mom you are just like everyone else
you have made mistakes in your life
you have made good and bad choices
I am so thankful for that ..
it taught You ...
great compassion ..

With every ..
good or bad choice I have made
you never tried to stop me
you let me make my own choices
and when things didn't go as I planed
you where always there to listen to me cry
you where always there with words of compassion
you where always there to make me feel better
never passing judgments
just there for me ..
and while we don't say it all the time
I have always known you loved me
I have always know that we have a special connection
not just of mother and daughter
but an energy between us that speaks with no words
you are truly my very best girl friend
I can share anything and everything with you ..

I am truly blessed to have the impressions on my soul ..
that You and Nana have made
I could not have asked for better spiritual teachers
I could not have asked for better mother's

You both taught me about the simple things in life
no not ever "typical" mom and grandma
because you are not typical people
the depths of your hearts and soul's
well is ....
simply amazing
So this Mother's day
I wanted to share with you much I Love you
Thank you for all you have given to my soul
I will always keep a piece of You and Nana with me
everywhere I go..

I Love you
Happy Mother's day

Thursday, May 6, 2010

May 6th ..... my day

I revisit a past blog
because it still fits today ...

Will you ever know
that I loved you enough, to make you go

Will you ever know
how much letting you go, hurt me

Will you ever know
I needed you to think the worst of me

Will you ever know
the love that still exists in me

Will you ever know
How sorry I will always be

Will you ever know
how much your life meant to me

Will you ever know
How proud of you I am

Will you ever know
that I still think of you now and then

Will you ever know
that I will always be your friend
even though we can never be friends

Will you ever know
the person I have become
the changes in me

Will you ever know
I know things now
I didn't know then
about so many things
mostly about myself

Will you ever know
if I had to do it all again
I would only change the how..

Will you ever know
that I am sorry for what I did

Will you ever know
the true reasons behind my actions

Will you ever know
I wanted you to have your dreams
they where always more important then my own
even though that might be hard to believe

Will you ever know
I am so happy you achieved your dreams

Will you ever know
that while life has moved on

this date stays with me
I think it always will..

the truth is you stay with me..

your love changed my whole life once upon a time
changed who I was forever

I thank you for that
I don't know where life would had lead me
if it was not for you
coming into my life when you did ..

Will you ever know
I will cherish our time forever

Will you ever know

and if you did
it wouldn't change anything
this I know...

but maybe,
just maybe
I could forgive myself ..

Today ..

walking down an isle at the grocery store
when the song that was playing
stopped me in my tracks
brought memories back
I had not heard this song in many years
it's really amazingly fitting to hear it today
for the most part I never pay much attention to
grocery store music
but today I could hear every line of the song
made me smile
I see the sign...
I lingered in the isle till the song was over ..
Getting ready to leave almost done
when my eye's meet "familiar" eyes
can't go into details
but let's just say ...
I was reminded everything has it's purpose
there is a reason for all things ..
sometimes it just takes years and years to see the why..
and the" little" reminder
warmed my heart .
made me happy
not for me
but for him
even if it shouldn't
even if I have no right
it did and I will see it as a sign
because that's what I do
on my way home turned on the radio ..
windows down
sun shining
scanning the channels
another song
I feel at peace on this May 6th
I seen the signs ..

Everything happens as it is supposed to.. there are no accidents