I feel you have worked very hard to make changes in your self
the journey of your life,
even at a young age was to rebuild ..your broken foundation
Our foundation is ..our inner core being
I believe with you...
your foundation was damaged
as a child ..some form of abuse you hide from most
this early abuse ..weather physical or mental or both
damaged your inner being ..your foundation as I call it
and I believe that since this early childhood abuse you have been fighting
to fix what is broken within
when our foundations are broken and we build on them
Would you build a brand new home on a broken or cracked foundation?
nobody would ..
but we do ...when it comes to our lives
and we usually choose people who have their own broken foundation
because in some way they understand us
or because we think we can fix them ..
when the truth is that we can't fix anyone ..but our selves
and while I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason
we do take wrong turns ..make bad choices that have long lasting effects on our lives
we do these more often when we have "cracked foundations"
we draw people in that are like our abusers and not even know we are doing it
maybe they sense that weakness in us
maybe we draw them in .. maybe both
But till we learn...
that we need to fix whats broken within us
before we allow anyone else in ..
sometimes we go through many relationships ..jumping from one to the next
sometimes we are stuck in one and we see no way out once we are in it.
But the truth is we always have a choice
there is always another door available to us
we are just to broken to have faith in that other door
behind that door in our minds is darkness
only because we don't know what's there in that darkness
we lack faith ..faith in our selves
even in relationships that are abusive.. we have options
our fear keeps us there..
and maybe while these relationships are bad for us
the reason we find ourselves there is really not about the relationship at all
because when we are in them..it seems to me is when we seek knowing ourselves so much more
we seek a higher understanding more frequently when we can't understand where we are at.
So seekers search out to anything they can work on ..within them selves
somewhere inside we know there is a root to all our problems
and it starts with what's within us
we may try to better ourselves
we may try to find a spiritual connection with our God and Universe
and in other area's of our lives we just learn to accept .. to conform
because frankly ..we are not whole enough yet to do something about it
but at some point on our inner journey of learning
we wake up one day and look inside ourselves to find ourselves in a better place
we have greater understanding of ourselves
we look around at the mess we have around us
things we just let be ..for far to long
conform will no longer work
you will now resent the people who you have conformed too
we may even try to reform the person
try to talk to them ..
make them understand ..how things need to change for you to be whole
You may work hard at trying to make things work
but the truth is you can't fix what is broken within them.
If they are not what you need when you are at your lowest
they will not be what you need when you are more balanced
To continue to grow and change you will need to make a move
make a change ..
sometimes walk away
someone who truly loves you for all the right reasons
will see the changes in you ..embrace all the changes in you
and your change will bring about their own personal growth
they wouldn't want you to conform
they would want to grow together in life
understanding everything that means ...
it's ups and down's
they would work within to be a better person
not only for themselves, but because you deserve that type of person in your life
but many times the people we are with are not at this place
at the same time we are..some may never be and we know that.
At that point we must just walk away when the relationship becomes toxic to our personal growth
This is never easy ..it is going to be the biggest challenge you will face with your new inner self
Have you done the work needed to take on this next challenge?
I believe you have
but what I believe does not matter ...
what do you believe?
are you strong enough now to face this next step in your personal growth?
only you can answer these things
only you can seek the other door's provided to you
can you grow further in the "place" you are right now ..the answer is always Yes
can you grow further in the relationships in your life?
the ones you can ..you should keep and continue to work on
but those ones you can't are only holding you back from your next step in your personal growth.
along our journey in finding us ..we heal our broken foundations
we have many spiritual awakenings along the way
some times we move forward in leaps and bounds
some times we move forward slowly taking small steps along our path
sometimes we fall back and have to revisit something we already learned from
it's all part of our inner growth
only you can answer where you go from here
your need for growth in yourself will not stop
you may avoid it or ignore all the signs shown where change needs to take place
but I assure you ...they will not stop coming
and when your strong enough in mind and spirit
you will then have no choice anymore then to make a change
So surround yourself with positive influences
reach out and ask for help along the way
ready yourself for the changes coming
because some day soon your need to be you and all that details
You will be stronger then anything holding you back
be smart ..be careful ..be aware
but never stop your journey of personal growth
for any other person
I am praying and pulling for you my friend
I know in the right time and the right place within yourself
you will find the strength to make any choices you need to in your future.