Grandpa Ray is resting peacefully, I played tapes of christian music today to him ..while he is sleeping most of the time ..he opened his eyes slightly while I held his hand ,swaying it with the music ,whispering to him that we are dancing. I knew some of the words to some of the songs ..only song I knew every word was amazing grace so I quietly sang it to him as we "danced" I spent a few hours with him this afternoon ..The Chaplain Terry came in and he prayed with us again ..he was also there yesterday and I shared my journey with my grandparents with him and Mary the hospice social worker and Peggy the hospice nurse ..they are truly amazing people, I feel blessed to be able to share our journey with them with all its twists and turns ..lessons and love and so many things that have come full circle. How taking care of my grandparents have changed my life in such a positive way. I truly am blessed not to just have taken care of them over these years but to have fallen in love with them.
Yesterday was such a profound day ...filled with such love. When I got home from my day I got a phone call from my dad's doctor ..a test they ran a few days ago on a growth on my dad's neck is a non aggressive form of skin cancer. Next week we are having it removed ..and everything should be fine. I didn't fully explain to my dad just that they need to remove the whole growth. thinking that would be enough explanation for now ...but as soon as I left he asked my mom if he had skin cancer. My mother told him well they just want to remove it before it turns to skin cancer ..so we lied, but it's for the best right now. I know my father he will freak out and think his life is over he has cancer ..we are hoping to avoid the depression he falls into when the doctors give us not so good news about his conditions. I hope he just does not worry and let's me worry and take care of things ..Like I always do.
Today was another busy busy day ..running mom all over town getting things done ..while on the phone with medcure answering everything I could about grandpa so that we can donate his organs after death to research in hopes that someday maybe a cure of some sort can be made by the researchers who will study his organs. After they cremate him and return him to us ..so I can have him and grams together forever... While we always talked about end of life care for them ..I never thought to ask what I should do with the ashes later nor did they say what they wanted ..so for a while I plan to keep them close and some day in the future take them to a place they loved to visit up north where there is a log cabin chapel in the woods that I even went to as a kid. it was one of their favorite places and one of my fondest memories of traveling with them when I was little... everything now is in place ..when the time comes ..now I can just spend my time with him ..making sure he knows he is loved and not alone...
When I got mom home I noticed one of her cats outside ..laying on the ground ..for one shes never that far from the house and two she just didn't look right ..so I walked over to pick her up and she had a really infected ear ..so I called my vet from my cell phone and took her right in ..gosh it never is dull around here huh? lol anyway they drained her ear and gave her meds to help ..she should be better soon ..so that's good I am glad I caught it before it could have got worse.
Now I am home ..let Dave see my face lol making dinner then maybe a hot bath ..a quick nap then back to sit with gramps for a while ..check who's his aid tonight and then maybe sleep ..John is off tonight ..gona miss him. He is such a good helper for gramps and all of his residents. Gona have to do something special for all these wonderful people after this is all over ..but what to do? how do you say thank you for loving and caring about my grandpa and about my family ..these same people every day ask about my Dad ..such wonderful people I have met through grandpa's care ..I am so blessed.